My Brother's Best Friend: BWWM Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  My Brother’s Best Friend

  Keisha Williams

  CHAPTER ONE

  The air was cold and smelt of cookies. Mom was downstairs baking while Christmas carols played at full volume. Dad was outside changing the wheel on his van while my older brother stood and watched. Anthony was two years older than me, but he loved to pretend it was ten. Our parents were happy to see us for Christmas since we had missed thanksgiving. I felt horrible for missing thanksgiving so I had to make it up to them.

  My old room brought back good and bad memories, all of which made me who I am. I went through some of my old stuff, throwing away some and keeping a few. I cleaned out all my old clothes, make-up and perfume bottles. I cleaned the furniture, the windows and the floor. I placed the new sheets I had bought on the bed. I had planned to stay home for five days, so my comfort was important to me. Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You played downstairs. My mother sang along with it. She was a strong woman but not a gifted singer.

  On my desk next to my window, I remembered writing papers for school until the wee hours of the morning. I had my doubts then, wondering if I would ever achieve my goals and leave this small town. I reached every goal I had planned for myself, and I did leave town, migrating to the city where skyscrapers resembled mountains and life moved at the speed of light. In the corner next to my old radio, I saw an old poster of Justin Timberlake. I had the biggest crush on him throughout my teenage years. He was a fine white man, and probably where my love for white men began. I took up the poster and smiled. Justin could do whatever he wanted with me, that’s for sure.

  I called Shanique, my friend back in the city.

  “Sasha, are you going to make it to my New Years Eve party?” she asked.

  “I might.” This Christmas felt lonely, and I would be entering the new year lonely as well. On the one hand, partying with Shanique could take my mind off not having a man, but on the other hand, I was bound to see couples kissing as the clock strike midnight, which would crush me. Maybe it was best I stay home and eat ice cream.

  “You should come! A lot of good looking guys will be there, A lot of white guys too. I know that’s your type.”

  Shanique always tried to play matchmaker with me. She always thought she knew what was best for me. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Please do. I really want you to come.”

  Other than the Christmas holidays, I was okay with being single. I liked my own company, and my hobbies kept me busy. It was only when the sweet, cheerful commercials and movies started playing on TV was I reminded that I was single. I tried not to let it bother me, and I was doing an excellent job at first, but I started to lose momentum around a week before Christmas. The sweet spirit and festive commercials and billboards were too much, you could not turn on your TV or walk down your street without seeing them.

  I have thought about having children and a husband, as most women have. I would like it to happen, but I was never the person to force it or become desperate enough to cling to a man so I could actualize those dreams. When I meet the right person, I’ll know.

  I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I didn’t know we were expecting anyone. I prayed to God it wasn’t our rude little cousins that ran everywhere and broke things. The worse part was that our aunt swore they were well-behaved kids. I did not have the patience for them today. I came back home to relax. The car door opened and out stepped someone I had not seen in a long while. “Brad,” I whispered. Brad is my brother’s best friend since they were in middle school. After high school, Brad moved out west to pursue a career in acting. I heard it was going well for him. He starred in a few small-budget movies and a few commercials. Nothing major, but still incredible considering how difficult it is to breakthrough into the film industry. He was definitely more attractive than the last time I saw him. He was taller, looked to be around 6’4, and muscular. His beard was light and neatly shaved along his sharp jawline. His trim was sharp too, with the sides faded and top slicked back. I stood from my room and watched him hug my brother then my father. He was liked within our family because my mom thought he was a good influence on Anthony. Brad came from a family of farmers and was always very industrious. He had manners and was very kind, and my mom didn’t hesitate to use him as an example for us. I had a crush on him back then, but liking my brother’s best friend was too weird so I never said anything to him.

  I went downstairs to greet him. Anthony took his bags and my mother, being her usual self, asked him if he had eaten and was adamant that he sits at the table and have a meal. It was then I learned that his family had sold the farm and moved to up north to try their hands in the oil business. He hadn’t seen Anthony or his childhood town in years and thought a visit back home was overdue.

  “Sasha!” He got up and gave me a tight hug. We were never close before. The most we had exchange were a couple sentence, and yet, I missed him. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you. And you’re not looking too bad yourself.” His chest was hard, and his arms thick. I went in for another hug, hoping it wouldn’t be awkward, and it wasn’t. I didn’t want to leave his arms. Snap out of it! He’s Brad. He’s like family. “So how have you been?”

  “I have been good. It was a weird year for me finding acting gigs which kind of bummed me out for the first half of the year but things are starting to pick up now. I’m going to star in a new movie. Production begins in January.”

  “That’s great. I have been following your career. I have watched all your movies. Anthony always keeps me updated.”

  He smiled. “I appreciate the support.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “How about you? Anthony told me you live in the city now.”

  “Yeah. I’m in marketing for a fashion magazine. I like it. It allows my creative side to come out.”

  “That does suit you. You were always taking an artsy picture, and you were always really into fashion.”

  It was a surprise to me that he noticed me back then. What else did he notice about me? Did he know I had a crush on him?

  His blue eyes were mesmerizing. “I’m happy to see you again,” he said.

  I blushed. “I’m happy to see you too.”

  Mom came with a plate of food and placed it on the table. I let Brad and my mom talk. I knew she had many questions to ask and many stories to tell. I went outside and chat with my dad and Anthony. I knew my dad was happy to see us, specifically Anthony, his favorite. I was mom’s favorite growing up so I didn’t feel too bad about it. My dad lectured Anthony about him not having any kids.

  “You better start using it before you lose,” my dad said.

  I burst out with laughter. “Dad. Oh my God.”

  “I ain’t lying. Give me my damn grandkids so I can spoil them.” He laughed.

  Anthony was laughing too. “Yeah, keep laughing. I can’t wait until pops is on your case too.”

  “Once I find me a good man then I’ll pop out some kids but not before then.” I leaned on my brother and laughed. “Pops will have to wait!”

  “This ain’t the old days, dad,” Anthony said. “It’s harder for us young brothers. Gotta be financially secured first.”

  “I know it’s tough on y’all. But don’t have your mother and I waiting for too long.” Dad wiped his oily hand in a rag and threw it down. “Start the engine.”

  Anthony sat in the driver’s seat and started the engine. “It sounds good.”

  “That’s right. I’m going to have this van till the day I die.”
Dad laughed.

  Later that night, Brad and I sat on the sofa and drank hot chocolate that I had prepared. We were alone. Anthony had gone to see his old high school sweetheart and my parents were in their room getting ready for bed. Brad and I had never been alone in a room before. My brother was always there. He was still well mannered and polite. He looked Hollywood but behaved country. I loved that the movie industry didn’t change him for the worse and he was still that sweet, handsome and down to earth guy.

  “You look tired,” he said.

  “It’s that obvious?”

  He nodded. “Have you been getting any sleep lately?”

  “No. Work was brutal these last two weeks, but I’m on vacation now, so I do plan on resting.”

  “What better way to rejuvenate the mind, body and soul than to spend time with loved ones?” He tapped his thigh for me to rest my feet on.

  “Yeah. It’s been a day since I’ve been here and it does feel good to be back.” I placed my feet on his thigh. He began massaging my feet and it felt like heaven. “You’re good at this.”

  “I was a masseuse in-between acting gigs. It paid the bills while I waited patiently for something.”

  I felt so relaxed and sleepy. His hands were firm, and my body was begging him to come further up my legs. He treated it like a profession so I knew he would do no such thing. “How long are you staying for?”

  “Just until after Christmas.”

  That meant I had three nights with Brad. I was excited to have him around. Other than Justin Timberlake, he was the finest white guy I had ever seen. We spoke about old times, the simpler times when all we cared about was having fun. I admired his friendship with my brother, and in a way, he felt like family. That made lusting over him stranger than it should be, but we are who we are, and feel what we feel. We spoke until I fell asleep on the sofa. I remembered him lifting me and taking me upstairs to my room. I was vulnerable, yet I felt safe in his arms. While half-awake, I wanted to tell him to stay with me. There was enough space in my bed for the both of us. He took off my crocs and placed the covers over me. “Wait,” I heard myself say.

  He took a seat on my bed. “Yeah? Do you need anything?”

  I need you inside me. Stop it. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Imagine how your brother would react if he knew you are lusting over his best friend. I snapped out of the bad decision I was going to make. It was loneliness speaking. I needed to control myself. “Thank you,” I said.

  “No problem. Goodnight.”

  “Night.”

  He closed the door behind him. I listened to his footsteps until he entered the guess room. The holidays were having an effect on me, making me do or think inappropriate things. This was not my usual self. Tomorrow morning, after having a full nights sleep, I’m hoping to return to the Sasha I know. He’s just a friend.

  CHAPTER TWO

  It was Christmas eve. I got up early and took my parent’s dog for a walk. The dog’s name was Benny, and they got him after Anthony and I had left home. As a child, I used to beg my parents to get me a dog and they would always say hell no. So I was certainly surprised to learn they had bought one after complaining that a dog would destroy their house. Anthony said dad got Benny for mom because she missed us. She didn’t have anyone to take care of anymore and Benny filled that need. Benny didn’t know me well, but we got along nicely. He was a chill dog.

  I walked around from my neighborhood to the nearest park, which was about a mile away. It was an exercise to clear my head and get my thoughts straight. I saw many familiar faces along the way. In this small town, everyone knew everyone.

  “Hi, Mr Gerald.” I waved. Mr Gerald took a sip of his coffee and waved back. His eyesight wasn’t good, so there was a chance he didn’t know who was waving at him. In this town, people did what they always have done. They were content and happy doing the same thing every day.

  “Hi Benny!” said a woman walking her poodle. We exchanged smiles. I learned that Benny was popular at the park. I unleashed him so he could play with his friends while I sat on the bench and kept a watchful eye.

  “Sasha?”

  In a town this small, I was bound to run into him. Marcus removed the earphones from his ear. He was dressed in a Nike sweats and running shoes. At one point in my life, I was in love with Marcus. He was my first boyfriend. We were young and foolish back then, thinking we would last forever. He cheated on me multiple times, leaving me broken and insecure. It took a long while of healing before I felt like I could trust again. One day we were planning out our future, picturing what our wedding would be like, the very next day he was in bed with another woman. I don’t know how men are capable of such vile acts. Do they have no conscience? I took it out on the boyfriends that followed after. They were undeservedly punished for something they had no part in. I stayed single so I could heal and work on myself. After what he had done, this nigga had the audacity to talk to me. “Marcus.”

  “You aight? It’s been a minute.”

  “I’m doing fine.” He looked healthy and handsome. I forgave him for what he did. It took some time but I eventually gained the strength to put the hurt behind me. However, that didn’t mean I wanted to talk to him. I wanted nothing to do with him.

  Marcus nodded. “Take care.” He continued jogging along the path. That was a face I never wanted to see again.

  When I got home, everyone was having breakfast around the dining table. Brad smiled at the sight of me, which made my heart flutter.

  “You’re home,” I said to Anthony.

  “I had to handle some business,” he said and smirked.

  “Come sit down and eat something,” mom said.

  “I’m sweaty and need to take a shower. I’ll have mine later.”

  After I had a shower, I went downstairs and had breakfast by myself. Brad, Anthony and dad were in the front yard chatting and laughing.

  “Sasha, I need you to go get a Christmas tree while I’m out shopping.” My mom was washing the plates.

  “We’re doing the whole Christmas tree and decoration this year?”

  “Why not? What’s Christmas without a Christmas tree.”

  “But mom, the last time you bought a tree was when Aunty came to spend time with us.”

  “Sasha, just buy the damn tree.”

  I laughed. “You’re buying it because Brad is here.”

  “We have a movie star spending the holiday with us. I’m going to see to it that he enjoys his time here.”

  My mother always did the most when we had guests. “Is Anthony coming with me?”

  “Your father needs Anthony at the garage today. Take Brad with you.”

  “Uh. Sure.” I was confident I could compose myself this time. No more lusting. “I’ll get a nice tree.”

  That composure didn’t last very long. Brad was driving us to check out some trees, and on the journey there, all I could think about was how sexy he looked driving. One hand on the steering while rocking to some country music. His hair was messier today, strands of hair falling over his face.

  “So how’s your family?” I asked.

  “They’re doing alright. I saw them on thanksgiving. The cold is pretty terrible there so I rather spend Christmas here.”

  “And I’m glad to have you here. The whole family is happy to see you. I know Anthony must have missed you a lot.”

  “That’s my brother. No matter the distance, we always keep in touch.”

  If Anthony is your brother that what does make me? “I admire that.”

  While driving, brad glanced at me, then took a second glance.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “You’ve—” he chuckled. “You’ve gotten really pretty.”

  “So I wasn’t pretty before?”

  “Well—yeah. You have always been pretty. But I like how you have matured.”

  “Are you talking about my breasts and my nice ass?”

  “Damn,” he chuckled nervously.

  “Come on! We’r
e both grown.”

  He nodded. “You’re right. That’s a nice fucking ass you have. I saw it shaking while you were walking and it had me in a trance.”

  I laughed. “Oh my God. Brad!”

  “Hey! I’m a simple man. I see a nice ass and I have to look.”

  Brad has been checking me out. “I bet you see a lot of fat asses in LA. Everybody has their body done there.”

  “Yeah, I do see it a lot. But it depends on the person. The women in LA are mostly fake, inside and out. The shape of their bodies is not appealing if I don’t genuinely like their personality.”

  I blushed. “So you like my body and my personality.”

  Brad looked embarrassed. “I’ve said too much.

  We pulled up to Mr. Edwards farm, where many last-minute shoppers like us searched for a Christmas tree. A little girl pulled her father’s hand in the direction of her desired tree. There were mostly families here. They laughed and smiled and for a moment it seemed the world was happy. There was baby fever floating around in the air and I wanted it far away from me. Too late, my ovaries were speaking to me and it voiced its impatience. Cute little toddlers ran around the farm in the most colorful and adorable outfits.

  Behind the trees, there was a fence with goats on the other side. Brad wanted to see them. He had raised goats growing up and had not seen one since he left for LA years ago. He rubbed the goat on his head. The animal wasn’t afraid of him. Brad had that calming effect on people, and it seemed to work on animals too. Around him, I felt like everything was going to be okay.

  “Do you miss working on the farm?”

  “Sometimes. The world slows down when I’m in the field. I can gather myself and my thoughts. It’s hard work, but I find it very therapeutic. Plus, I like using my hands, maybe that’s why I was a masseuse.” He smiled.

  “Maybe next time you can give me a full body massage.”

  “Maybe.” He winked.

  I found a tree I thought my mother would like. It wasn’t too big and not too small. Just perfect for our small family. Brad tied it to the roof of his car. He lifted it like it didn’t weigh anything at all.